Dec 15 Written By Sarah Aborn
In this time we are living in, there is no shortage of stress. At any given moment, most of us have a plethora of anxiety-provoking triggers that we could easily sink our nerves into. When we find ourselves in mental or emotional anguish, there is a tendency to feel like life is happening to us. When we can accept our emotional response to our reality and shift our perception to a different vantage point, we have the opportunity to call back our power. Play around with a different perspective, that life is happening:
BY ME - empowering myself by claiming responsibility myself;
THROUGH ME- living in surrender, as a channel for life to flow through;
or AS ME - living in a state of Oneness, unity consciousness, total connection. Expanding to feel myself as part of the whole. Diana Chapman, Jim Dethmer and Kaley Warner Klemp of the Conscious Leadership Group (CLG) have developed a leadership model that looks at how we approach life in terms of four different states of consciousness. This is not a linear model -- we don’t 'graduate' from state to state. Rather, it is more of a fluid, changing paradigm within which we can flow to and from the various states.
TO ME is a state we find ourselves in when fight/flight/freeze/appease/or dissociate has been activated. It is quite disempowered and when here, you are likely deep in your conditioned tendencies, story-mode, victim mentality, old trauma wounding and/or survival strategies. From here, it is advisable to acknowledge your pain, hold space for your inner child, validate your traumas, tap on what is...... and when you're ready, invite yourself to shift into BY ME. P.S. - there is no shame in being here, it's human and it's wounding. Be kind when you find yourself here, and celebrate the fact that you were even able to zoom out enough to get the perspective to recognize that you were in this place. Ask what your heart needs.
BY ME, the second state of consciousness, is a more empowered state. To shift into this state you claim responsibility for your state of mind and in doing so, call back your power. Here, you recognize yourself as a creator, and identify problems as something you've energetically brought forth and, therefore, can solve.
THROUGH ME is the third state and can be attained by shifting into surrender. It provides a framework for living in a context of trust and love, and transcending the ego-driven dualistic states of TO ME or BY ME. Living and working from this place provides an openness and awareness for what wants to occur through oneself. Life is abundant and non-judgemental.
AS ME is the fourth state of consciousness that you can access by remembering Oneness. Life is experienced from a place of universal connection and unity consciousness in this state. It is the place of non-dualism, where all life, including Mother Earth, are experienced as a part of oneself. While there may be preferences there are no attachments. This is contentment, ultimate connection, bliss.
See the following pages for a deeper dive on this model.
The CLG estimates that 97% of the population spends about 90% of their time in the first two states so I've gone into more depth with those two. It is very useful to know how and when to shift from "To Me” to "By Me".
Have fun playing with this! And don't take yourself too seriously - EVER. Remember, angels fly because they take themselves lightly.